Friday, December 17, 2010

who do you think you are?

"...and this is how the world makes sense, all of us behaving like men."
-For One More Day page 119


Who was I trying to fool? I remember that time, and now it all seems like all the whispers and days, the minutes and hours, the fire and laughter, the secrets and avoiding talking about what each other already knew, all of that was a waste. I wish it hadn't happened.

To me.

And oh, how my heart searches for a decent second to hold on to.
And oh, how the path has altered.

Tag, you're it.

I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to feel as if I have to watch over you, or speak to you, or check if you're alright or not. I don't want you to be important to me anymore. I don't want that responsibility. I don't care. Don't care. Care.

It's time to leave.

You've spent all this time trying to fill your heart, trying to find some way to get through the day. Trying to find love, to be content. Trying to find happiness. And you failed. And who are you to tell yourself the truth? A lie? Why couldn't you stop there? Let. it. go.

Here's a hint:
This isn't about you anymore.

And I know I was never even remotely important to you. I was just a piece.

Warning: death or serious injury can occur.

Oh God, please. It's time to give up. She's not coming back. She's not waiting. She doesn't care.
He doesn't care. He doesn't know you anymore. He doesn't even remember your name.

Besides, you can never compare to the beauty that they so desperately cling to.
You can never be her. You aren't even close.
And you? Why did you even allow yourself to hope? Surely you knew she had better things to do.

He doesn't even want to sit by you. He doesn't even want to be seen with you.
You aren't friends. He doesn't want to remember you at all.

My name is Emily. You loved me once.
How could you forget?

And you know, you were never fooling anyone. She always knew of your feelings. She didn't draw attention to them because she never felt the same way. She just didn't want to hurt you. All this time, wasted. What are you going to fill your heart with now?

Do you even know who you are?