Saturday, January 1, 2011

Disappearing

In a way - I'm happy,
and all the more defined,
but as my thoughts grow sharper,
I'm nothing but confined.

Sure - in her lies beauty,
and a smile that lives and sings,
but that's not right for someone
that is meant for greater things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And today, I realized that I have no grasp on anything. That I am but a piece. a crumb, if you will.
In other words: I hold no substance. I am far from desirable. And I haven't the slightest idea of where I am going in life.

I know hope is for the best at this point, and for that I am eternally grateful. It's a great moment to share, to be blessed with, to have something to hold on to. Hope defines us all. And right now, I think all you need is something to focus your eyes upon. To be able to look up and say, there is something out there for me.

For you. For me.

And likewise, I shall sit back and not interfere. Because when I start to meddle, things always end up crashing down upon me.

I'm over it, I can be happy, I don't care like I used to.
Truth.

But keep in mind where my loyalties lie.
And that even though I shall try to be selfless in this situation, keep in mind that that doesn't necessarily mean that you have a right to be selfish. Because there are other people at hand here, and there's always a bigger picture.

And tonight, I shall not be here.
I'm training myself to step back into the shadows.
To disappear completely from your life.