Wednesday, June 15, 2011

for when we go our separate ways.

The best thing, the difference is
that he has seen through her and not
been overly entranced by
looks and lust and longing for.
The difference is that I do not
feel inferior, or competition.
And my whole life, the common theme
is that I have always been second best.
Don't deny it; you chose her--
you chose her without hope.
You were willing to let me go.
And so I'll go--no, no, no.
I stayed.

I stayed.

That's more than she has ever done.
In fact, what all has she done?
But destroy you from the inside out
and now she leaves--yes, she leaves
soon. Without a farewell glance.
Without hesitation or regret.
Time and time again, she's broken you
and yet you still say she's perfect;
she's the one. She meets the standards,
and surpasses them. She's that girl.

I'll never understand.

Though you feel you'll have to change for her.
You'll lose yourself. Don't lose yourself.
Because you, to me, are perfect just
how you are, without special effects.

And when she's gone, who will stay?

************

If we're being honest here,
this week I learned that I'll survive
without you, though I never knew
that was an option. And likewise,
perhaps you'll find a better place
than here with me. Here with me.
Perhaps you'll grow and go and learn
to live with yourself without my hand.
Perhaps my hand has held you down.
I feel when I left, you actually lived
and learned to deal with distress
on your own. And succeeded.
So thus, my time has come and gone,
and when we go our separate ways,
we'll be alright. You'll be alright.
And I will be too. I promise that
wherever I go, I'll find a way
with or without you--not by choice,
but paths can only cross for so long
before riding into opposite lands.
You were never right for me, anyway,
I knew that from the very beginning.
I just hoped that maybe you were
someone else. But you're enough;
I don't need anything else from you.
I need to find more from myself.