Sunday, July 24, 2011

I knew. And now, I know.

I'm leaving soon, as you all know,
and I can't count the days or hours.
There are seconds left hanging in the air,
and they float around my head awhile,
but I can't count them. Today, I'm infinite.
Today, nothing can touch me. Today, I am fine.
Today, I own happiness. I've come upon
something good. Not just or tangible,
but a blessing. A soft whisper of something
I so long and have failed to have--hope.

Hope has finally wrapped its warm arms
around my cold-stricken neck.


I don't care if you're still with her,
or with her again, back, continued,
whatever words you want to use...
I don't care. Congratulations, even.
My life has grown and gone without
you. I've lived without you
and I've loved life. I've seen life
without you.

I never lost a single thing.


I hate the moments when people
have to make excuses just in case
they fail to live up to expectations.
Just in case they make a mistake,
or don't perform perfectly.
They'll say....Oh, I'm not very good at this,
or I'm new at this. Lies. Just accept
the fact that we're human; we're finite,
and we are prone to imperfection.


They're playing a song--a catchy one.
You know, the type that might be good
if they didn't play it on the radio every ten minutes.
The one that's part pop and part indie
and that borderline cookie-cutter crazy kind of music.
I swear to God, if I were the kid in the casket,
I'd be punching myself in the face.
It really doesn't matter though--the music, I mean.
They could be playing freaking "Bennie and the Jets"
and I would still be bawling my eyes out.


I'm so exhausted,
but it's been a good day.