Sunday, October 16, 2011
I Need a Moment
My friends are back, but they're still gone. They have been gone, and will be gone. I've accepted that. It's hard, because I love them and my entire life I've been terrified of any kind of change, and now it's all hitting me at once and it's hard to just sit here and let it all happen. I love them. I miss them. Soon, I will be gone, too.
I visited a college yesterday in Hannibal. I really, really liked it. It's been on my mind all day. There's a good chance I'll go there. They really have a strong focus on the Lord, and that's exactly what I want/need, especially at this point in my life. I'm starting to realize that people, no matter how close you are, will come and go. Christ will remain.
Lately I've felt so busy and unable to make everyone happy. I feel like everyone wants so much from me and I'm not able to fulfill that. And after giving my time not only to them, but also to school and work, I'm afraid there's not much time left for me. I'm an introvert. I enjoy being alone, but it's more than that. I need to be alone sometimes. That's just my personality. People don't always understand that.
[[I just heard something outside my window. It's giving me the creeps.]]
I have so much guilt on me right now because I feel like I've let people down, but I've done the best I can. I'll probably be up for awhile. My mind is too scattered to be able to sleep right now.