Monday, December 5, 2011

What I really shouldn't have to say.

I tend to go too far.
And I'm looking for...I'm looking for...
inspiration
a reason to give myself credit
doubt.

[Indecisiveness;
noun. not decisive or conclusive.]

I will not. I will not.
I will not let you in.
I will not tell myself
that you win. You win.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Listen, I remember you
when we first met. I was jealous.
You had no power;
you had life. You had love.
But not mine.
You'd
never
have
mine.

I would make sure of that.

But it happened, of course.
Slowly. But it did.
Inevitably. Reluctantly.
He was always yours,
of course.
He never belonged to me.

And I was jealous.

And over the years, I've determined
that I got the better end of the deal.
I hope that's okay.

I still look up to you.
To all you do.
And I know I go too far,
and I know that I shouldn't be
jealous.

But I am.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

--Emily