Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I Am Bound

“If you give them enough rope, they’ll hang themselves.”
--Mr. Williams, American Political Systems, 1.30.12

I was tied by hands that knew my own
                from smaller joints to how they’ve grown.
I fell clean on a clammy street
                that punched me back in my defeat.
I looked around to spot my foe
                that struck me with a backwards blow
and saw a figure by a tree
                that stood not far away from me.
I saw him sitting, not in black,
                but clothed in grace that I now lack.
I saw his outline, head cast low.
                He did not sparkle, shine, or glow.
His head rose slowly towards the light
                until his eyes were in my sight.
I recognized his rigid eyes,
                his sullen stare, not a disguise,
not a reaper, ghoul, or ghost,
                nor any demon I feared the most,
but me—past tense—below the tree
         watched me—here, now—in apathy.
His eyes shot through me with his stare
                that turned me cold in summer air.
Then he rose and walked towards me
                and I, desperate, began to plea
to spare my life and release my hands
                so I could continue with my plans.
He said nothing; he smelled of grace
                that softened his adolescent face.
A rope extended within his clutch
                and plans no longer mattered much.
I could not change it, but regret
                filled the moment with vignette.
He came at me, I caught his eye,
                he did not even answer why,
and then, with desperate severity,
         I stole myself away from me.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Of Art.

My life is set inside a frame
     that's been seen before. I've seen the same
strokes and colors, shadows and smile
     behind another artistic file.

So when one comes and visits here
     I might as well be painted clear
for they gather around across the room
     like leaves towards sun instead of moon.

I look upon her every day--
     the higher attraction along this way--
and ache to crawl between the strokes
     of life instead of phantom hoax.

But I can't compare to a masterpiece
     of life instead of life to cease.
I am among the works of art
     but I begin to fall apart.

It seems so wrong here, desolate,
     and utterly insignificant
that of these paintings, I should be 
     of little value and quality.



Day Twenty-Seven!
It's a fun one...

a figure of speech in which an imaginary, absent, or deceased person is represented as speaking or acting.

Found: discussed in my Poetry class

alternate spelling: prosopopeia

That's okay, it may not be
of snakes and serpents--humanity
will always uncover some beauty.

Even in the eyes of Death,
those cold, lively eyes of Death,
one can find a fresher breath.



Day Twenty-Eight. The word is....

[klak-suh' n]
a loud electric horn, formerly used on automobiles, trucks, etc., and now often used as a warning signal.

Found: while watching The Hichhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with my friend Sierrah. 
(I always watch movies with the subtitles on.)

alternate spelling: claxon


Day Twenty-Nine. Whoohoo!
The word is...

a very small amount; jot
the ninth letter of the Greek alphabet

Found: also in The Hichhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(one of my favorite movies, if you couldn't tell. Hehe.)



Saturday, January 28, 2012

Curly Hair.

We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike; forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were. I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.
-- "On Keeping a Notebook" by Joan Didion
The above is something I just read in my Creative Nonfiction textbook that stuck out to me. I think I can relate to it a lot.

I have a horrible memory, and it's really one of my biggest flaws.

Also, recently, I've had the hardest time writing like I used to, and I really miss it. I really miss it.


And I feel prettier,
I feel who I am,
I feel the best
with curly hair.
I will not conform,
I will not compromise
being comfortable
with being accepted.

I will wear my hair
with curls.


Maybe I turned out happier
than who I might have been.
Maybe it's best to leave the rest
with all the words in my past.
Maybe we are better off.

I say we,
I mean me.
Who are you,
Why would I
offer up
words and thoughts
free of charge?


Day Twenty-four. The word is...

[suhmp-choo-uh' s]
luxuriously fine or large; lavish; splendid

Found: I don't actually remember, but it was while reading last night.


Day Twenty-Five. A milestone.
Sort of. The word is....

[vuh-luhp-choo-uh' s]
full of, characterized by, or ministering to indulgence in luxury, pleasure, and sensuous enjoyment

Found: mentioned by Deacon and in my American Literature textbook.


Day Twenty-six.
Moving right along. The word is...

of or pertaining to the world, universe, or earth
common; ordinary

Found: while reading around on Blogger



Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Ambivalence, verse, and music.

This song has been stuck in my head for awhile now.
So I'm going to share it with everyone. It's a keeper.

So, I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile. School started back up and, as planned, I haven't had much time for anything. I have been looking up my daily words every day, so don't think I've cheated. I just haven't posted in awhile. 

And this week only gets more hectic from here. I'm taking 16 correction: 18 hours this semester, which is exactly as crazy as I was hoping it wouldn't be. Biology, American Literature, Poetry, American Political Systems, Creative Nonfiction, and Wellness Center. Ugh! It'd be fine if it wasn't for American Lit I. That class kills me. We have to read so much. and it's all really, really, really boring.


Alright, so day Nineteen's word was...

[am-biv-uh-luh' ns]
the simultaneous existence of two opposed and conflicting attitudes, emotions, etc

Found: in my Creative Nonfiction textbook.


And the word for day Twenty was...

noun or verb.
1. communication of thoughts by words; talk; conversation
2. to communicate thoughts orally; talk; converse

Found: discussed in my Creative Nonfiction class


Fire eyes, fire eyes
in whom you refuge in disguise
looks beyond the likes of me
with furnace lakes in friendly skies.

Between the air expands a sea
consumed with flame in trajectory.
Recoil, I shrink; I'm black as ink;
Flying flames as artillery.



Day Twenty-one. The word is...

[dih-rizh-uh' n]
ridicule; mockery

Found: while reading the book of Pslams


I hear you whisper in the wind.
          You conquer my soul, oh my God.
You bless my heart with the sunrise
          and send messengers of encouragement.
I can't be here without You here;
          I can't imagine a me without You.
You are my Lord, my Father, my God
          and I know You live in every heart.
I know You work among us all.
          There is nothing untouched by You.



Day Twenty-two. The word is...

[fluhm-uh' ks]
verb. (Informal)
to bewilder, confound, confuse

Found: in my Poetry textbook


I'm searching for
a place, a time
when we were happy;
when you were mine.


And finally, day Twenty-three.
The word is...

[mal-oh-der-uh' s]
having an unpleasant or offensive odor; smelling bad.

Found: while reading my Creative Nonfiction textbook.


Oh, I never, never
could understand.
I never, never,
knew the day
that it officially
began, then not.
So quickly, now,
it seems it came.
So suddenly
screeched the brakes.
I never, never,
could recognize
if what I felt
was legitimate.
But now, too late,
but now I think...
Yes, I think
that it once was so.
Once upon a January,
a day not far from February,
it might have began.
But there, of course,
there is where it began
to end.


And this is song numero dos that has been stuck in my head today:

Note: this is not Ritchie Valens singing, but the real version had annoying music in the background.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

My people are sick.

Hey there.


I can't,
I can't
say any
than what,
than what
I already 


Day Seventeen.
The word is...

characterized by or requiring a sitting posture

Found: said by both my Biology and American Literature teachers today.


And the word for day Eighteen is....

[fan-taz-muh-gawr-ik, -gor-]
having a fantastic or deceptive appearance, as something in a dream or created by the imagination.
changing or shifting, as a scene made up of many elements.

Found: in a quote that was in an essay I read for my Creative Nonfiction class.


Everyone here seems to be sick, except for me, who apparently has a rockin immune system.
(Just kidding, I started to sneeze a lot today, which is always the first sign.)

My boyfriend Deacon is pretty sick tonight, so if you don't mind sending some prayers, he could use them. 

So, apparently there are a lot of unknown words in the college setting if you pay attention to them. Who knew? Perhaps I underestimated my educators.

Time for more homework! Hope you guys have a great last half of the week.


Monday, January 16, 2012

the temerity!

We'll be fine, we're the winners.
We're the ones who jump the backs
of the shooter and
force a rope against their necks.

We are the survivors.



Day sixteen.
I've looked up this word before while reading Emily Dickinson, but I had forgotten its meaning and came across it again today. So the word is...

reckless boldness; rashness

Found: while reading my textbook for American Literature I.


P.S. My Dad bought Adele's CD.


Advice and Experiences

I used to be the little girl that could
laugh, smile, twirl, and play
and Mommy, you always taught me well.

Those were years before today
and now we all come and go
with some hellos and some slammed doors.

Maybe I was little once,
maybe I was your little girl,
but I’ve always been your little girl.

I’m older now. I’ve reached my full height.
I’ve seen problems and accidents;
I’ve settled in storms and riddled with rain.

I know that death’s hand is typically cold
and that they never look peaceful, despite what they say.
I know that heartbreak comes in parking lots.

I know how to get back home.
I have memorized names and numbers;
I can decipher trust by weight in my palms.

But now I see that you, Mommy,
may have just been lucky with me.
What all exactly did you teach me?

Did you teach me how to cope with friends
that told me themselves they searched for death?
And what did you say to me that day?

Did you teach me how to come up for air
when they took me, shook me, clamped on my mouth,
and deflated my lungs from sweet summer breath?

Did you teach me how to walk alone
with standards and the weight of responsibility
forcing me back into the earth?

Now that I have eyes of my own,
and now that I have acquired wisdom
with experience, I’ve concluded that

you were never by yourself, but you
convinced yourself that you were.
You told yourself that you did your best.

Mommy, you should know that running
gets you further away from the fuss,
but nowhere near resolution.


Day Fifteen, and the word is....

[des-uh-nuh' ns]
a termination or ending, as the final line of a verse

Found: searched online. I didn't come across an unknown word today.


Happy MLK Day, everyone!

Also, does anyone listen to Michelle Featherstone? I may start.


Sunday, January 15, 2012

Well, Photo Dump.

I finally got those pictures finished, as you might have noticed already. =) I'm just going to do a great big photo dump.


The above I'm entering in Shoot. Edit. Submit.
And I shall call it, "Hanging In There"



It should be noted that I do not attend SEMO.
My sister used to; it is her shirt. =)

Kevin and I

He was all Cat-on-a-Mission



I didn't post all of them, as some are seen elsewhere.
I hope everyone has had a great week! I, fortunately, have the next two days off. This means more photos, reading, writing, and even homework. I know. I refuse to become as bad as a procrastinator as I was last semester, even though it seemed to work out well for me.

Still. I want to eliminate as much stress as possible.


For Day Thirteen, the word is...

[kuh-loh-kwee-uh' l]
characteristic of or appropriate to ordinary or familiar conversation rather than formal speech or writing; informal

Found: randomly popped into my head.


Day Fourteen, the word is!...

unemotional or unimaginative; lacking passion, sympathy, or sensitivity

Found: while watching Grey's Anatomy.



Friday, January 13, 2012


First off, guess who finally has Microsoft Office 2010? THIS GIRL!

You know what that means? Lots and lots and lots of writing, like I used to. Stories. I mean, more poetry too, but mainly more stories. I used to write stories quite literally all of the time and have gotten out of the habit, but no longer! It will begin again!

Secondly, we finally got snow today!! (More so, we got extremely cold wind.) I didn't get any pictures of it, as I still had to go to school, but I did write a short poem during my hour break. I usually don't hang out in the library, but my last class is on the top floor and I didn't want to have to leave and face the cold wind just to come right back, haha.

And you know, sometimes new places are good for inspiration.
So I wrote this as I was sitting at a quiet desk by the glass windows, watching other students outside cross the frozen quad.

Charcoal sidewalks etched in ice
before her frozen, frigid pace
are like a sheet of fragility
as her feet place, roll,
and step again so carefully.

Heel to toe defeats the snow
and slow pace conquers ice
but mistakes are looming, like trapdoors 
waiting, waiting
to fault and fall.

Afterwards, I sketched a nice picture of a lamp post.
Well, nice in terms of me.


[I'm looking this up and putting it down as a draft on Wednesday, because I didn't get home as early as I had planned and I don't have time to do a whole post.]

Day Eleven. The word is...

[in-fal-uh-buh' l]
absolutely trustworthy or sure; certain

Found: said by my Biology teacher today during lecture.


And for Day Twelve, the word is...

[in-trin-sik, -zik]
belonging to a thing by its very nature

Found: while reading my textbook for American Political Systems.


I was going to post more pictures from the other day, but I don't have enough time.
I must read my Bible and be in bed by 1 AM.



Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The end of life as we know it. Well, not really.

Today was the last day of Christmas break for me. The Spring semester starts early for me in the morning, which is why I'm typing this so fast. Haha. No more sleeping in until 11:00 everyday for me anymore.

The day was spent preparing for tomorrow, but I was able to do a little photoshoot of myself, which is something I've been meaning to do for a long time now. I don't have them all finished yet, so I'll just give you a preview.


Day Ten! The word is...

[lahy-bey-shuh' n]
a pouring out of wine or other liquid [in honor of deity]

Found: while reading Pslams chapter 16.


Wish me luck on the start of the Spring semester!


Scavenger Hunt Sunday -- 1.8.12

Okay, I know it's Tuesday. BUT I didn't catch Scavenger Hunt Sunday on Sunday, and I've never done it before so I get points for even trying.

Deacon and I went about today and took these pictures. It was actually a lot of fun. =)

1. One Color

2. Laundry
Okay, I don't do laundry,
but I thought the socks were a nice touch. 

3. Empty
Well, empty branches.
That's a saying, right? 

4. One Dozen
Okay, the only thing I knew I had a dozen of were pennies!
The math equation was Deacon's idea.

5. Soft
Romeo. The only place he lets me get a decent photo of him.
Okay, it'll be better next time, promise.



PS. I almost forgot my word of the day.
Day Nine. The word is....

[eg-zawr-tey-shuh' n, ek-sawr-]
an utterance, discourse, or address conveying urgent advice or recommendations.

Found: while reading Philippians tonight, chapter 4.


Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
--Philippians 4:8

Monday, January 9, 2012


Well, I just watched The Help for the first time.
It's a winner.


I will not become
a ratty, batty,
narcissistic, jealous

My 10-Word poem for the day.


 Day...Eight? The word is...!

verb. (sometimes noun.)
to cheat out of money or other assets

Found: while looking up synonyms for "burn"


She couldn't say it if she wanted to.
My eyes are towards the floor.

Has the thought crossed her mind? No doubt.
It's happened across mine on several accounts.

And she enjoys the rhythm; beat;
he enjoys the mighty game.

And calamity, taboo, oh no no no.
All is well and fair indoors.

Nothing vile or threatening exists
if said only just above a whisper.

Of course, she knows. Common sense
has not left her empty-handed

but his hands are cold and dried with dust.
He lives on his eyes alone.

Icy pools that possess such pull
upon the heartstrings of another,

no wonder she has had no choice.
No wonder so many have fallen.

But, as well, as so very well,
all is fair in here, indoors.


Oh, just some random thoughts.


Sunday, January 8, 2012

Italy and Malarkey

Well, I finally finished editing pictures from Italy last night. There are a few of them.
But, I think I decided that on the whole trip, I took the best pictures while in Italy.

This one was particularly hard to edit because it was blurry and taken at night,
but I was so in love with it to not try.


This was also particularly hard to edit, because it was covered with a lot of shadow.



This one was always my favorite.












I do believe it's Day Seven. The word is....

noun. (Informal)
speech or writing designed to obscure, mislead, or impress; bunkum

Found: it was mentioned by Deacon as an interesting word.

alternate spelling: malarky


First week down, 51 more to go.


You and Me

That moment's fading--
when you and me,
when you and me,
when we were free.

We used to live so beautifully
when you and me
and love were three.
When you and me
lived happily.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

An Eye Witness

I witnessed faith in someone's eye
that wasn't known. A passerby
that happened to be on his way
to see if one day, I would try.

I witnessed love among the friends
that knew we had to make amends.
I look to them when in distress
and through the mess, a hand extends.

I've witnessed many countless lies
and with each one, my spirit dies,
but I know that beauty lives today.
I pray you'll see it through your eyes.


Okay, day six. I really didn't have a word for today,
so I searched some online articles and this word stuck out...

characterized by, involving, or proceeding from fraud; cheating; dishonest

Found: while reading this article.


Not the best poem, I know,
but I tried. I haven't been in rhythm lately. Eh.


Friday, January 6, 2012

The promised pictures.

Well, after getting Sonic today (they totally re-did the building, and it's SO much nicer now), Deacon and I rushed to beat the sunset so I could get some nice photos of his nice bald head. 

I think we're adorable, personally. =)

I've fallen in love with the way Branson at My Reflection of Something does collages, so I thought I'd give it a shot.


Day Five. The word is...

to depart in a sudden and secret manner, especially to avoid capture and legal prosecution.

Found: while watching The Dark Knight 


Many more pictures are coming your way,
and probably some poetry, too. I feel like it's been awhile.


Thursday, January 5, 2012

Hairless and Waylay

Well, today, Deacon decided that he really wanted to shave his head. And today, I decided that it was okay.

We've been discussing and arguing over this for about two months now. He came to me in November and asked me if it was alright with me if he shaved his head at the start of December. I talked him out of that (meeting family, etc) and suggested January instead. As January approached, however, I started to get more and more afraid.

The main thing I find attractive on a person is their hair. It's what I look for first. And Deacon has particularly good hair. At the same time, I felt completely wrong telling him he could not do this. I mean, the length of my hair was decided for me without my consent for 15 years of my life. I know how frustrating that is, and I know how much he wanted to give this a try. So I agreed.

It doesn't look bad. I don't have a picture yet, but I'm even already starting to get used to it. I prefer his hair, but he's the same either way.

I do, however, have a picture of us right before I had to go to work today, just a few hours before the shave:


Day Four. The word today is...

[wey-ley, wey-ley]
to intercept or attack from ambush, as in order to rob, seize, or slay.

Found: While reading the first chapter of Proverbs tonight with Deacon.



Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Warm Water

My dream self must be psychic,
or can leave me for a while
without me knowing.

I like to imagine it flying
across time frames and galaxies
while my body imprints on my mattress.

Perhaps it can even move about
my room and mind

Whichever way, it has a way
of knowing what might happen
upon my waking.

I don't know which part, exactly.
I do not know much anymore.
Except I dream, and I wake.


I feel a pulse beneath my hand,
beneath my skin and wedged between
my bones and soul. Working hard
without complaining of severity
or stressful times. It does its job.
And why can't we all just
do our jobs, and do them well?


Day three. Today's word is....

a series of trees planted in a long row, as on each side of a driveway or road

Found: in "The Arrival of the Bee Box," a poem by Sylvia Plath.


Monday, January 2, 2012

a successful date. =)

My date went very well today. =) Deacon and I went to the Science Center, which I've never been to, and then to Olive Garden, which is on my Bucket List, and then we saw We Bought a Zoo, which ended up being a pretty great movie.

My only regret is that I took my camera, but I didn't take any pictures!


And now, Day Two, my word is...

causing insidious harm or ruin
deadly; fatal

Found: in the movie We Bought a Zoo.

I know, I've got to stop with all of these morbid words.
And now, young ones, I think I shall go to bed early. Night!


So this is the new year.

and I don't feel any different.

Day One.

I had three goals for this new year:

  1. Give up Mountain Dew. Again. (Hey, I did pretty good for a long time last year.)
  2. Read my Bible every day. (I should have done this years ago.) 
  3. Learn a new word every day for a year. (This is on my Bucket List and is also in order to improve my less than proficient vocabulary.)
Now, these words will not be in alphabetical order, and they don't have to be words I've never heard of before. I could be familiar with them but want to look them up and find out for sure what the meaning is and use it appropriately.

So, I know it's after midnight, but that's only because I had to work 3 to close today and we were really busy. It still counts as day one.


Today's word is....

a burial vault, tomb, or grave.

Found: in Edgar Allan Poe's poem, "Annabell Lee."

alternate spelling: sepulchre


Well, that was fun.
I must be getting to bed now. I have a hot date tomorrow afternoon.

Happy times in 2012!


So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogs bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back.