I've been out of classes since 11:00 this morning and I just can't seem to stay on track. My mind has been swarming with past memories. I've gone through my old Myspace photos (which, for some reason, MySpace has resized to tiny little thumbnails, which upsets me greatly because many of those photos are not saved anywhere else) as well as digging through old albums on my jumpdrives and external hard drive.
I love those two pictures of Eric and I. I think they pretty much capture our friendship. The first is from one of my birthdays early in high school; the last is before a band concert during senior year.
I keep wondering if I was happier then. I certainly look happier in all of the photos, and it's true--most of the major events that have shaped who I am today had not yet occurred. Although I am not saying that I'm not happy now. On the contrary--I think I've reached a much more stable point in my life.
Maybe happiness isn't the right word. Maybe I was just more carefree back then. I wasn't so serious. But is that a good or a bad thing? Or can it be both?
I look at those pictures and wonder if that person is still even within me at all.
I wish I had more time to ponder this right now, but I must go memorize that skit.