Thursday, April 25, 2013

Evanescence of a Friend to Phantom

I know what ghosts are, now.
I’ve felt the presence, I’ve seen the shadow
        long after your physical shell
        had expired.
You’ve been conjured here
among the living, between our spirits
        constantly, ever since the day
        that you died.
Each time, your outline fades.
We fill the gaps, we trace the lines
        over and over with our thoughts
        and memories,
but you’ve turned to grey, now.
You hover above us, you follow behind us—
        almost translucent, though still left


Monday, April 22, 2013

in another life, who knows what we'd become?

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I actually took these photos a few weeks ago and have been meaning to post them. But what better time to post pictures of nature than on Earth Day?

I'm not going to say much about it this year, except that Earth is pretty cool, and we should try to keep it that way. Unplug some stuff. Use less water. Eat your greens. Recycle. Etc.

And take lots of nature pictures on lonely Sunday afternoons.









...sometimes I make weird faces. Idk.

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Well, this weekend was spectacular, but this week is going to be crazy. Finals are a week from today. 

So if you don't hear much from me until May 1st, don't be too surprised. 

But before I go, I want to share this gem of a lyric video with you all. Relient K just released it today. =) It makes me suuuuuper excited for their new album, Collapsible Lung. Also, Ethan Luck posted yesterday that he left the band. I still can't believe it. So this will be the last album with him as the drummer. Sigh.

Happy Earth Day, go plant a tree.


P.S. Do other planets have special days?

Thursday, April 18, 2013

a letter to the boy who approaches infinity.


To Deacon,

--I could very well say to you, "OMGhappybirthdayIloveyouforeverandalwaysyou'rethebestxoxoxoxo," or some other typical response that you'd find in How to be the Perfect Girlfriend, but I'd rather not. I don't want to say what's "right." I want to say what's true. And while I very well believe all those things in the obnoxious quote above, I would rather say them with my own voice.

--So today is your birthday. Congratulations. You are now a teenager for the 7th year in a row.

--Yesterday I called you "dearheart." It did not go over so well. By that, I mean it did not have the same effect on you that I experience whenever you call me "sugar bear." Today on Twitter, you called me ours sucre--"sugar bear" in French, which is probably the sweetest/romantic thing I have ever seen in my life. Once again, you take the gold.

Well played, birthday boy. Well played.

--This year, I could not spend the day with you. I had to spend it 168 miles away, which was a real downer. No hugs. No smiles. No faces, hands, cake, presents, lights, words, or songs. For me, anyway. I really hope you still got to experience all those things, because today the world celebrates your existence, with or without me, and you deserve to feel loved by everyone in your life. Your soul is always so willing to give, to serve. Sometimes, people need to give some of that back to you.

--I've been listening to a lot of Death Cab for Cutie recently. "Lack of Color" has been played 122 times and each time, it's played for you.

--I didn't realize until today that this is the third time I've written you a letter on your birthday. How about that? When it began, we were best friends. Two years later, we're still best friends, plus dating and in love and all that. Our lives are perpetually intertwined. And 50 years from now, you'll be turning 69, and I'll still be writing letters to you with my old, withered hand. How glorious.

--It took me awhile to come up with a title to this one. I wanted it to be about time, of course. And then I remembered all those long one-sided talks about Calculus and how you talk about functions and things approaching infinity. I may not know what that means, but you certainly do, and it seemed appropriate.

--"I judge them not by the color of their points, but by the content of their character."
You just said this on Skype while we were talking about brownie points. I love you.

--I don't have any recent pictures of you and I am sorry. So here's some throwback pictures.
It is Thursday, after all:
November 2011
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August 10, 2012
March 8, 2013
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July 4, 2012
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February 23, 2012
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March 14, 2012
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August 8, 2012
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January 2012

May 2011
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February 2, 2012
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July 4, 2012
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July 4, 2012

--Basically Deacon, you're mine. You've been mine all this time, even when you weren't aware of it. I was never going to let you get away. I loved you when you were 17, and I'll love you when you're 87. So have a very happy birthday and a happy year and know that even when I'm 168 miles away, my heart is still right next to you.

See you in less than 24 hours,

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Favorite Fictional Couples / OTPs

Well, my friend Katy posted a blog earlier about her top 5 favorite fictional couples. I tried, but I can't limit mine to five. It was hard enough to try and put them in order. If you asked me to rank them tomorrow, it will probably be completely different. But here you go, a list of 15 of my favorite couples--from books, TV shows, and film.

P.S. Beware of spoilers.
  • 15.) Gordo and Lizzie
    --Did you love this moment? I loved this moment. From episode 1, the entire Lizzie McGuire fanbase was rooting for Gordo + Lizzie. And the movie did not disappoint us.
  • 14.) Robbie and Cecilia
    --Have you read Atonement? Seen the movie? If you've seen the movie, you've basically read the book. So what is it about these two that make them so undeniable? I could say tragedy. They have their brief moment, and then are torn worlds apart for the rest of their lives. But neither of them move on. They remain latched on to the hope that they might be with each other again, someday.
  • 13.) Dexter and Emma
    --I just read this book (which was pretty fabulous) so these two are fresh on my mind, but even so they deserve recognition. They're story isn't necessary one of romance--it's of friendship. Long, enduring friendship that spans over the course of twenty years, all the while the reader is shouting from afar, "just get together already!" They have such chemistry and understanding between them, which I really admire.
  • 12.) Landon and Jamie
    A Walk to Remember
    --Another great book/movie, though actually I might enjoy the movie more. They're pretty different, actually, but I love how their relationship is portrayed on screen. I mean, how she has a list of things she wants to do before she dies and he helps her do all of those's just so sweet.
  • 11.) Edward and Bella
    --Okay, before you close your browser and run away screaming in the opposite direction, I want to clarify. I know they're cliche and in all reality, probably not the best couple in the world. They have their flaws. And honestly, I kinda hate how their relationship is portrayed in the movies. So why have they found their way on my list? Because when I read the book my freshman year of high school (before there was even talk about a movie), I was dazzled. I was convinced their relationship was the most romantic thing I had ever heard of. But, if you insist that this couple should be removed and replaced by another, I would probably choose Jack and Rose from Titanic, or Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter.
  • 10.) Henry and Clare
    --This was a great book/movie. Not your typical love story, as Henry and Clare's lives are perpetually intertwined, even more so than your typical couple. And being married to a man that spontaneously time travels is hard work. But somehow they manage to overcome it and live happily ever after. For the most part.
  • 9.) Peter and Wendy
    --There's something about Peter and Wendy that has dazzled me since childhood. Maybe it's that he so clearly loves her, but he doesn't exactly know what that means. All I know is that in the book, when they're stranded on the rock and he saves her life by letting her have the kite, my heart melted. Such bravery and chivalry for a boy who refuses to grow up.
  • 8.) Ian and Wanderer
    --Spoiler alertThis movie just came out, but I've been a fan of Ian and Wanderer for a long time. He is the reason why I love The Host so much. He gives her Cheetos. He's just...ahh! I can't even express it fully. But when he says, "I held you in my hands, Wanderer, and you were so beautiful,"I could have died. I mean, how can anything get better than that? It's a shame that line wasn't in the movie.
  • 7.) Laurie and Jo
    --This is one book that I have not gotten around to reading yet, but it's my favorite movie. My family and I watch it every Christmas Eve, which is probably the best tradition in the whole world. [Spoiler alert!] And yes, I know, Laurie and Jo end up with other people and are apparently happy with how their lives turn out. But in my mind, they are meant for each other, and I think a part of him will always be in love with her. Not Amy. Amy can go rot in Europe.

  • 6.) Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey
    --If you didn't alreay know, let me tell you here and now: Grey's Anatomy is my favorite television show. That being said, I'm still like, two seasons behind. I just know that the next season is going to be emotionally taxing and I don't think I'm ready to embrace it. Anyway, Merder. I love them. Even when he was married and didn't tell her. They're just so...yeah. I can't express it, so I'm going to make you watch the "Pick Me Choose Me Love Me" speech:
  • 5.) Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet
    Pride and Prejudice
     --Ah, yes. Can you believe I was completely oblivious to the whole realm of Pride and Prejudice until last summer? Yeah. Poor, deprived little me. But now I have seen the light, which is radiating off of Darcy and Lizzie like the dawning sun.
    ...Was that too cheesy?
  • 4.) Carl and Ellie
    --Because what is more romantic than growing old together? It's what everybody hopes for. And Carl and Ellie go through some rough times. Even so, they persevere. Their love endures. So thank you, Pixar, for showing the younger generation what true love looks like and doing so in 8 minutes without any spoken dialogue.
  • 3.) Cory and Topanga
    --Cory and Topanga, two names that will forever fit together. There's not much else to be said about these two. They're both quirky and completely right for each other. The End.
  • 2.) Zuko and Katara
    --Okay, I know it never happened. But I feel really strongly about them being together. I mean, I love Aang, he's a great guy, but Zuko and Katara just....go together. They just should. My love for them began wayy back in season one when he was trying to trade her mother's necklace for information about Aang. After that, I was hooked.
  • 1.) Nathan and Haley
    Can I get an Amen? From the very first tutoring session, to their first kiss while "I Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot raged in the background, and then [Spoiler alert!] to the speedy marriage + children (p.s. I stopped watching this show after season 5, so I'm not exactly up-to-date), Nathan and Haley have dazzled female audiences for years. Their love is pure. Not perfect, but they are dedicated to each other. It's the stuff of fairy tales. Or TV sitcoms.

P.S. Did I leave anyone out / anyone you think I should add?
currently listening to: After the Storm by Mumford and Sons