Friday, June 28, 2013

I have a thing for...

just in case you didn't already know this about me
  • tigers
  • foxes
  • Peter Pan
  • the big cats in general
  • silhouettes
  • vanilla scented things
  • gargoyles
  • Sylvia Plath
  • Avatar (James Cameron's and The Last Airbender)
  • books
  • trees
  • lens flares
  • hands
  • Reese's
  • hot dogs
  • Scrabble
  • Harry Potter
  • words


Friday, June 21, 2013

that kitten that you've been hearing so much about.

Meet Willow

Willow is the kitten that we adopted about a month or so ago. My mother rescued her after hearing about a few boys in the neighborhood that had been abusing her. And though I've tried to convey that our home probably isn't the best choice for her (on account of my Dad's allergies and the amount of animals we already care for), Karlee refuses to give her up. And she insisted on naming her "Willow."

I will say though, she is cute. She is a ball of cuteness.
Not to mention hyper, crazy, and spazzy. She can run like the wind. She jumps out of no where and grabs you around your ankles. She has the longest whiskers of any kitten ever. She cries whenever she doesn't get attention. She often chases her own tail. She likes to stand on your shoulders while you walk around. And her little claws are like daggers.


But she is a good kitten and fun to play with. We all love her.


Thursday, June 20, 2013

Without You

I've never gone
this long without you;
I never thought
that I would have to.
It's lonely here--
I've been missing you
terribly, dear.
I'm lost without you.


Wednesday, June 19, 2013

pictures of poppies + my cat + my dog that I thought I posted forever ago but apparently I didn't.

I took these over a month ago. I thought I posted them, but I can't find them on my blog anywhere, so here you go. And if this your second go at them, then hey, thanks for the reunion. Everyone could use a good double dose of cat pictures.

(I think what happened was I tried to upload these, but my internet connection was funky so I never was able to.)

First, poppies:

Second, other flowers whose name I do not know, but we call them flags:

Third, me. Before my haircut.

(Deacon has pointed out that I take far too many selfies, so I've been trying to limit myself.)

Fourth, my beautiful cat, Cleo:

Fifth, my dog, Romeo. Before his haircut, also.

And one more selfie:


Some recent developments:
  • I always miss Throwback Thursday. Somebody should send me weekly reminders.
  • Deacon is at church camp and I've done nothing but read Deathly Hallows in his absence. I can't tell you how many pages I ravaged through, but I finished today and am now reading Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.
  • I miss my crappy poems. Do you guys miss my crappy poems? It's been awhile. I'm worried I lost my knack at it.
  • There is never food in my house.
  • In an attempt to get my sleep schedule back on track (I've been waking up between noon and 1:00 for the past few weeks), I went to bed at 10:00 pm the other night. I awoke at 4:00 and could not go back to sleep, so I went outside to watch the sunrise and read Deathly Hallows and made a peanut butter and banana sandwich. I then fell back asleep at 8:00 and slept until noon.
  • Needless to say, my plan did not work.
  • In high school, was an overdramatic teenager obsessed with the opposite sex and I would really like to tell myself that I was different from the stereotypical overdramatic teenage girl obsessed with the opposite sex, but my own journals betray me. So forgive me, world, if you knew me back then and had to put up with another boy-obsessed, obnoxious teenage girl. 
  • You'd tell me if I was still like that, right?

Thursday, June 6, 2013 did WHAT to your hair?


I got it cut.
Simple as that.

It might not seem like a big deal for you--but for me, it actually is. This is the shortest I've had my hair since infancy. I'm not exaggerating. I was never allowed to cut it when I was growing up. But I just turned 20 and I decided enough was enough. I wanted hair that felt More mature.

And I don't regret my decision one bit.


more life updates:
  • I'm halfway through my goal of reading 40 books this year. I just finished Slumber by Samantha Young after reading The Great Gatsby. I'm now reading Deathly Hallows.
  • If you followed me on Goodreads, you would know this already.
  • Go follow me on Goodreads. Right now. So we can be book buddies and fill the world with magic.
  • I'm not going to tell you what I thought about the books in order to encourage you to follow me on Goodreads.
  • As you can see, I can see!
  • New glasses, that is.
  • I like them. I don't like when my mum calls me a hipster.
  • I'm not even sure I know what a hipster is.
  • My other half is currently in the lovely land of Florida.
  • I miss him.
  • I had nightmares last night.
  • For all the random, weird dreams I have, you'd expect nightmares to be common for me, but they really aren't.
  • Have I mentioned we've been housing a kitten?
  • Yeah. And she's a monster.
  • But a fluffy, cute monster.
  • Which are arguably the worst kind.
  • I was going to go shopping today but ended up sleeping until 1:00 PM.
  • So...oops.
  • *shrug*
  • I did take Romeo to the park, though, and we walked four laps.
  • Then I had McDonalds.
  • My get-healthy-and-in-shape plan is going swimmingly, as you can tell...
  • *shrug*
  • How about more hair pictures?

Have a great weekend!


lost words and phrases from my moleskine.

I think about it, sometimes--
what it would be like

just an inhale,
     then an exhale

just a wake,
     then a sleep

I've probably mentioned my red moleskine notebook on here before. I carry it on me at all times. It's different from my journal--its sole purpose is to be there whenever I have a thought, or hear a word or phrase, or basically have anything at all that I want to write down. Many of my poems find their roots there and you might recognize some of these phrases from them. A lot of what is written never sees the light of day again, but I was flipping through it earlier and thought it might be fun to share some of it.

It's completely random, jumbled, and disjointed--so be warned. The entries with stars are ones that lack a date.


I cannot find with accuracy 
the future that lies in front of me.

We were there.
We are here.
We are present everywhere.
Oh, how blessed I am to be 
together here with you, finally.
Holding hands in the here and now--
and we'll do things just because
we can, to say later, "We were there."

Everything has a sound, but they are silent until played.
Sound of souls?

Normally, I would find a destination.
Normally, my purpose would be concrete.

You adapt, or die out.

How much do I need?
How do I know what I need?

We loved each other, but we didn't know how.

Note: It's probably happened to me a dozen times before.

We painted away--we painted to stay.
We captured colors on the floor.
Words weren't enough anymore.

I will only ever almost know you.

Those last few minutes are the slowest.

They're not just cars--they're people. All at different points in their lives, with nothing in common except that we are all here, driving in the same direction at nearly the same speed. But there is a story behind each one of them--from where they're going to where they have been.

I have a poem in me somewhere,
but I think it is better to let silence be silence
than to expose the event for literary benefit.

And now I'm alone, but not free.

"It's like having the floor fall out beneath you."

The room falls silent--
it wasn't me, but death
has snatched up someone.

"If she needed to change anything, she would change anything."

I stole myself away from me.

"I'm on my own" I'm told, though I
once was told the otherwise.
Now I trust not words, but eyes.

This has had effects on people.
With that velocity.
Comparing trains with comets.
He can't be really serious.
Titanic and hubris.

And I tell you, this is why
I have nobody to share this mind

"That's okay, it may not be."

I'm searching for simplicity
in a world that craves complexity.

Though I did not; I let you go
     without a syllable.

I know now that the tears came from not from the event leading up to me hugging my arms around him, but the hug itself. How honest and pure it was, like when we were young, but how it was accompanied with a pain and overwhelming grief that is planted within him permanently, and how that saturation of grief overwhelmed an act of purity that used to comfort anything.

"I want to curl up here,
because God, I can't stand the world."

I can't,
I can't
say any
than what,
than what
I already 

I'm searching for 
a place, a time
when we were happy;
when you were mine.

"Someone's stealing onions. I don't wanna know about it--it's fine. If they really need it."

That of these paintings, I should be
of little value and quality.

I'll have truth.
Solution: found.
People here are free. Are free.
And facing inferiority.

My first opposite friend had
green eyes; bright eyes; eyes to see
and shine against the daily, dull,
common attitudes attached to common people.

We ought not be kept in bondage;
we ought not be enslaved.
We will not have it anymore.

Defeated, she sought out solace curled up on the floor, nails wedged between the cracks in the boards as if to pin her there. The rain began to fall outside--slowly, slowly, and then, in a sweeping motion without crescendo, a forte--a stampede of liquid footsteps.

Why, if we live, do we want to die
so young? We don't even want to try
to work toward the pursuit of happiness
and treat life as more than a passerby.

The one time that I actually have a blank moment, my mind does just that: blanks. The moment I arise to do something, however, I'm fully confident it will be overflowing with ideas.


You smile when you dance.
I like that.

It makes me want to breathe.
It makes me want to move.

It lets me know I'm living.