Wednesday, October 30, 2013

My Upcoming Absence

Tomorrow is Halloween, also known as NaNoWriMo Eve.
Meaning that today is NaNoWriMo Adam?

I have decided that during this time, not only to concentrate on my novel but for other personal reasons, I am going to avoid using Twitter and Facebook. It won't be permanent and I'm not saying I'll be 100% absent, but I will definitely be less present.

I've spent too much time mindlessly wandering through social media for no purpose at all.
I need to do something worthwhile.

I need to take a step back.


That said, I will try to continue blogging, and I have added a handy-dandy widget on the sidebar so you guys can keep up with my word count.

I just need to get away from everyone and everything, really. So I'm going to immerse myself in my novel instead.

Before I go, a few notes about my novel:

  • I've been creating a new language to use within the novel, and it's actually pretty fun. 
  • The story is kind of inspired by Tangled, The Village, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and the idea of a snow queen after seeing the pictures from Disney's Frozen.
  • It does not include a snow queen. The idea just sparked other ideas.
  • It is based in a different world.
  • I haven't decided 100% on all names yet, but the main characters are called Eraelyn and Mylan.
  • It includes mythological and imaginary creatures and monsters.
  • Eraelyn's name means "into the light" or "towards the sun."
That's all for now. More to come later.

currently listening to: Hey Now by Augustana

Monday, October 28, 2013

NaNoWriMo Preparations + Playlist

Getting ready for NaNoWriMo 2011 Poster

November is coming. I didn't think I was going to do NaNoWriMo again this year in order to focus on my goal to read 40 books by the end of the year, but I changed my mind. If I don't do it, I know I'll regret it.

And there's a story in me that is clawing its way out.

If you don't know about NaNoWriMo, it's not too late to get into it! (Last year it was literally October 31st before I decided to do it.) It stands for National Novel Writing Month and takes place the month of November. The goal is to write a novel from scratch during that time, reaching 50,000 words. On average, you have to write 1,667 words per day to make it.

I know it sounds scary. It sounds hard.
But it's also possible. And a lot of fun.

I attempted it last year, which I like to consider my "warm-up year" because the novel I wrote already had 9,000 words written...but I did manage to get to 50,000 by the end of the month. It was great motivation to actually sit down and write. To stop planning. Stop putting things off. Stop being concerned about perfection and spelling and having everything outlined. Just sit down and write. Just get through it.

This year, I'm starting from scratch.
And I don't have an outline yet, so I'm not giving you details yet. But expect them...sometime. I'll probably be pretty absent next month because of this. But please, please, please send me lots of love and encouragement. I'll need it.

Especially two weeks in when I question everything about life and wonder why I've taken on such a strenuous endeavor.


And, just like last year, I've put together a playlist to listen to during this time:

Each song either reminds me of my story in some way or was just something I thought would be nice to listen to while writing. I tried to avoid duplicates from last year, with the exception of "The Gravel Road" from The Village soundtrack because, you know, it's the best instrumental in the history of forever.

I made it a bit longer this time because it will be on repeat constantly during the next month. I haven't completely finalized it yet, so some songs might be added or rearranged or something. And if you have any suggestions, shoot them this way.

See you at 50K!


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Grey's Anatomy Challenge

Warning: Spoilers ahead

This is supposed to be a 30-day challenge, but I'm just going to do a blog post with all of it. Easier.

This is everything up to season 10. I tried to include a variety.

Day 1: Favorite male character?
--Henry, even though he's only in a few episodes.

--Of the main cast, George O'Malley
--I'm also a fan of Burke.

Day 2: Favorite female character?
--Meredith Grey

Day 3: Favorite friendship?
--Meredith & Cristina

Day 4: Favorite couple?

--But I also like Lexie & George, if you consider them a couple? I was always rooting for them.
George & Lexie

--Teddy & Henry, 

--and so far I like Alex & Jo 

Day 5: Least favorite male character?
--I really don't know. Maybe Mark Sloan?
--Or Charles Percy
--I don't know. Most of the men are pretty likable.

Day 6: Least favorite female character?
--I might say Izzie. I liked her early on, I truly did, but the longer she was around the more annoyed I got. I just grew to hate her personality.
--Kind of like in this scene. She starts of amazing, but then just gets whiny and annoying. 

--Also Erica Hahn
--and Leah Murphy
--and Jackson's mom. She's annoying

Day 7: Least favorite friendship?
--It's hard to not like a friendship. 
--Maybe April and Reed? They're just complete opposites. Granted, this was before April's character was more developed.

Day 8: Least favorite couple?
--Bailey and Nurse What's-His-Name
--Callie and Hahn
--Alex and April, if they count

Day 9: Favorite actor?
--This one is tough. But I might have to go with T.R. Knight

--But I also think that Eric Dane does a great job, too. 

Day 10: Favorite actress?
--Sandra Oh. She's capable of so many emotions.

--I also think that Sarah Drew does a fantastic job as April Kepner. Her eyes. Gosh.

--Also Chandra Wilson. And Ellen, of course.

Day 11: Favorite season?
--Season Two.
--But Season Three is good, too.

Day 12: Least favorite season?
--Not sure. Probably season 7. Or season 5.

Day 13: Favorite quote?
--there are so many. But "You didn't love her because you don't destroy the people you love" always gets me.

--also this:

One of my favorite quotes.
Day 14: Favorite episode?
--I thought The Music Event episode was amazing.
--when Arizona says "I have a heartbeat." My heart melts.

Day 15: Least favorite episode?
--Not applicable.

Day 16: Favorite elevator scene?
--when this happened:
The Hello Kitty band-aid.
--and this:

--and so, so many more.

Day 17: Favorite surgery?
--when Derek operates on Isaac's inoperable tumor

Day 18: Favorite place in the hospital?
--the scrub room

Day 19: A scene that made you cry?
--Doc's death.

--and Henry's death

--and basically all the time

Day 20: A scene that made you laugh?

Day 21: A scene that made you angry?

Day 22: Most epic Grey's Anatomy moment?

Day 23: The character who you miss the most?
--and Addison

Day 24: Favorite season finale?
--Season Six. Like when this happened.

Day 25: Saddest death?
--Charles Percy. It makes me cry every time, even though I didn't like him. He still didn't deserve to die the way he did.

Day 26: Best dancing scene?

--and oh my gosh, this scene was so amazing:

Day 27: If you were ill, who would you want to be your doctor in Seattle Grace?
--Doctor Bailey, all the way.
Miranda Bailey  Played by Chandra Wilson    POSITION:  Attending    STRENGTHS:  Straightforward; tough; quick-witted.    WEAKNESSES:  Bailey's not known for having many weaknesses, although some colleagues think having a baby has made her less of a doctor, something both she and Dr. Webber disagree with

Day 28: The most underrated character?
--Richard Webber

Day 29: The most overrated character?
--Derek Shepherd

Day 30: Your all-time favorite thing about Grey's Anatomy?

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Dark Nights and Living

I miss driving around on back roads, darkness stuffed underneath the sky, and listening to this music as loud as we could. It was always the best therapy.

We were there the night before I graduated. I remember. Somewhere on that old back road, I couldn't keep it in anymore. I turned my head and tried to hide it from you, but you knew. You always knew.

You reached over and held my hand for the rest of the drive until we ended up parked next to the lake. We put the seats back and rain began pounding on the top of the car. We just stayed here, with the music and the darkness. I couldn't speak. I was still crying. And you were still holding my hand.

I think that's when I knew.


I miss those moments. Those moments when you feel more than you've ever felt before. The overwhelming ones. The terrific ones and the horrific ones. The ones where I woke up in the middle night and got sick not because I was sick, but because my world had stopped turning and I realized I had based my future on something that wasn't going to happen. The ones where we fought and cried and stayed in the car until 3 AM until we let go of our arguments and held on to each other, then decided to drive to Steak 'n Shake even though I looked terrible and was wearing short shorts and a hoodie, but it was summer and the middle of the night and we loved each other.

Or the moment that me and you locked ourselves in the bathroom because we were in my house by ourselves and heard somebody messing around outside, so we called our youth pastor to drive by and found out it was just the boys playing tricks on us.

The one when we stepped outside the car at the drive-in and watched the stars instead of Batman Begins.

The one when you were upset, so I did what my friend had done with me and we went driving around in the middle of the night and listened to Girls Like You and got lost because I don't know my way around Farmington, but we saw a deer and an opossum and found our way back.

I hope my life is filled to the brim with them.

And I'm starting to realize that you make me feel more alive.

currently listening to: Girls Like You by The Naked and Famous

Saturday, October 12, 2013

left my heart at home.

IMG_1533-4 quote

It's been a difficult week, on so many levels. And it's not over yet.

I have more homework to do this weekend than I think I ever have before. I should be doing it now.
But I needed a moment.

But I don't need structure, so I'm going to bullet my thoughts as they're coming.

  • I want to learn how to play the piano.
  • and live in France.
  • Those are my two life goals this week.
  • I love this song.
  • I should be more open to those closer to me and less open to everyone else.
  • There was a bit of a monkey wrench thrown into my after-graduation plans today, so I'm trying to work through that.
  • Luckily, I have great people in my life that understand me more than I do.
  • I'm impressed that my mother knows that I love gargoyles and that she stopped mid-conversation to tell me The Village was on TV, but that it was already passed my favorite part.
  • Passed? Past? I never know.
  • Seriously. 
  • Don't you dare make an English Major comment. 
  • Not today.
  • I'm kind of addicted to FB/Twitter lately and I really need to limit myself. 
  • Real life trumps virtual life. 
  • I am so overwhelmed by God and how he looks after me, though I do little to deserve it. 
  • I'm kind of writing a fairytale/fantasy/dystopia thing.
  • I'm not giving out a lot of details yet, and I may not let anyone read it, but I just thought I would tell you guys. I'm still writing, even if it's not on here.
  • I think I've just been really lonely lately. I still haven't found my place.
  • Have I mentioned I love this song?
  • I cannot handle what is going on in TLOK right now. Everything is so wrong. 
  • Like, terrible awful I can't believe this is a kid's show my heart is dying wrong.
  • And I really need someone to rant to about it.
  • Grammar.
  • I've been writing and erasing a lot today.
  • It's a miracle I've gotten this far in the list, honestly.
  • The problem is I need to speak, but I hate speaking. I am so, so terrified of social situations. 
  • And I think that I come off the wrong way to other people. 
  • Maybe it's just late at night and I'm a slave to my feelings.
  • I want my cat. At least one of them. I need kitty cuddles.
  • And hot chocolate.
  • I'm so ready for Fall Break.
  • But I'm nervous for that, too. There's going to be a lot to do that weekend.
  • And a lot of pressure to be perfect.
  • And your words keep echoing through my head.
I'm sorry if my posts are limited in the near future. I started two different ones this week and never finished them. They are sitting in my Drafts, patiently waiting to breathe that first breath of life.

But it probably won't happen for a few weeks.

And let's all pray that I survive, myself.

Over-dramatic midnight writer
currently listening to: Miles Away by Memphis May Fire

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

never meant


Where did you come from?
That is my question, today.
I can't quite tell
where or when
or why. why.
Why does this still
affect me so,
why can't I tame this lion?


Did you know, then?
And you, and you,
and you--did you always know?

Is my skin really so translucent,
am I really so easily understood?


You wreaked havoc upon us, then.
You threw your cards down--
ended the game abruptly.
We didn't see it coming. There hadn't
been a twinkle in your eye,
building crescendo in the background,
shadows falling before their possessor.

We couldn't catch you--we were too busy
trying to pick ourselves up off the floor.

Is that what we remember, now?
Not you--not how you failed to live,
but how we struggled to, afterwards?

How we still struggle to.


I think, now, I've forgotten you.

I've certainly forgotten pieces.
I block them out--
probably for the best.

Except that it's not.
I should have never gotten into a situation
that is better forgotten than remembered.


I'm so, so, so done with this.
I like being alone, not lonely.
I hate being without you.

I don't need words. I need hands.
I need something to cling to;
I need to know that I'm alive,
to know that I'm still here,
to know that everything has changed.

I'm scared to death that everything has changed.


I don't now where most of this has come from.
Nothing is how I meant it to be--
I'm not who I wanted to be.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I want so much more;
I want to live to be so much more.
currently listening to: Collapsible Lung by Relient K

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Sullivan Bartholomew.


A few months ago, we discovered that one of our outside cats, Shy, had a kitten.

(Our other outside cat, Cleo, is spayed and we had every intention of doing the same to Shy, except she is extremely skittish and will only let you briefly touch her. Shy and Cleo were strays that came to our house last summer when they were kittens.)

We don't know why Sully is the only kitten in the litter, but Shy takes extremely good care of him. =)


The story behind the abnormally large name? My parents wanted to name him Bartholomew; Karlee, Deacon, and I wanted to call him Sully. So we combined the two to get Sullivan Bartholomew, though I think the rest of my family has taken to calling him "Bart" and I'm the only one who calls him "Sully."

And he seems to get along well with Deacon.



Friday, October 4, 2013

The Book Thief Movie // Trailer Review

Still from "The Book Thief".

I first read The Book Thief in high school, around sophomore or junior year. I loved it. I'm reading it again now, and I love it even more than before, if that's even possible.

It's honestly one of the best books I have ever read.
And that's kind of saying a lot, because I like to judge things harshly.

Through Leisel, this book made me fall in love with words.
Through Death, this book made me fall in love with writing.

And that's the thing about it. There are two reasons why it is phenomenal:
  1. the story
  2. the way it's told
So, let's talk about the trailer for a moment:

I have been waiting for a long time for this movie to be made. I'm glad it wasn't rushed into, though--a book like this needs a movie that does it justice. And I'm confident that that's what we'll see in November.

There a lot of things I love about this trailer.

  • The set and everything looks great--as close to what I imagined as possible.
  • The music. At first, I felt unsure, but at the moment Geoffrey Rush appears, the tune picks up and it's beautiful. 
  • Speaking of Geoffrey Rush, I think he is a fabulous choice to play Hans. 
  • In fact, I think that all of the actors here are the best we could have hoped for.
  • The only one I'm skeptical about is the boy they have playing Rudy. He looks okay. Maybe it's just because we don't see him so much in the trailer--and when we do, he's constantly asking questions.
Ah, and now we come to some of my qualms:
  • To me, I feel like Rudy is a major part of the story, but he's barely in this trailer.
  • The trailer is instead dominated by Max.
  • Now, I'll cut them some slack. This might just be my own opinion, because during this second read-through of the book, I find that Max is just as major of a character. I don't know what it was about my first reading, but I didn't connect with Max's character then the way I have this time.
  • I do not like the way the trailer begins. I think it has the wrong vibe, but this is changed the moment that Hans arrives. Perhaps this is what they meant to do, though, because that moment is such a major shift in Leisel's life.
  • Now, my number one problem with this trailer: there are two narrators within it, and neither of them is Death. I'm told Death will narrate the movie, however...and perhaps it would have been confusing to people who had never read the book if he had narrated the trailer, but I still cringe a little whenever I hear Leisel's voice in the beginning.
Overall, I'm really excited for it.
You should be, too.

currently listening to: Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

October, finally.


I feel like the world has been on the edge of its seat for today, the first day of October.

At least, I think I have been.

I have a lot of homework to be doing (I have to finish Frankenstein by tomorrow and read a few sections of The Canterbury Tales) but I wanted to post these photos in honor of October, although they were taken in September during one of my many walks to the library.


And before I go, I would like to share the new trailer for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug:

--speaking of trailers, I'm going to be posting about a few more in the near future (whenever my homework load dies down) so be prepared.

--also, for some reason, October always reminds me of Death Cab for Cutie. Or maybe that's the other way around. Whichever way, they are intertwined in my heart.
currently listening to: A Lack of Color by Death Cab for Cutie
*insert tears*