Saturday, October 12, 2013

left my heart at home.

IMG_1533-4 quote

It's been a difficult week, on so many levels. And it's not over yet.

I have more homework to do this weekend than I think I ever have before. I should be doing it now.
But I needed a moment.

But I don't need structure, so I'm going to bullet my thoughts as they're coming.

  • I want to learn how to play the piano.
  • and live in France.
  • Those are my two life goals this week.
  • I love this song.
  • I should be more open to those closer to me and less open to everyone else.
  • There was a bit of a monkey wrench thrown into my after-graduation plans today, so I'm trying to work through that.
  • Luckily, I have great people in my life that understand me more than I do.
  • I'm impressed that my mother knows that I love gargoyles and that she stopped mid-conversation to tell me The Village was on TV, but that it was already passed my favorite part.
  • Passed? Past? I never know.
  • Seriously. 
  • Don't you dare make an English Major comment. 
  • Not today.
  • I'm kind of addicted to FB/Twitter lately and I really need to limit myself. 
  • Real life trumps virtual life. 
  • I am so overwhelmed by God and how he looks after me, though I do little to deserve it. 
  • I'm kind of writing a fairytale/fantasy/dystopia thing.
  • I'm not giving out a lot of details yet, and I may not let anyone read it, but I just thought I would tell you guys. I'm still writing, even if it's not on here.
  • I think I've just been really lonely lately. I still haven't found my place.
  • Have I mentioned I love this song?
  • I cannot handle what is going on in TLOK right now. Everything is so wrong. 
  • Like, terrible awful I can't believe this is a kid's show my heart is dying wrong.
  • And I really need someone to rant to about it.
  • Grammar.
  • I've been writing and erasing a lot today.
  • It's a miracle I've gotten this far in the list, honestly.
  • The problem is I need to speak, but I hate speaking. I am so, so terrified of social situations. 
  • And I think that I come off the wrong way to other people. 
  • Maybe it's just late at night and I'm a slave to my feelings.
  • I want my cat. At least one of them. I need kitty cuddles.
  • And hot chocolate.
  • I'm so ready for Fall Break.
  • But I'm nervous for that, too. There's going to be a lot to do that weekend.
  • And a lot of pressure to be perfect.
  • And your words keep echoing through my head.
I'm sorry if my posts are limited in the near future. I started two different ones this week and never finished them. They are sitting in my Drafts, patiently waiting to breathe that first breath of life.

But it probably won't happen for a few weeks.

And let's all pray that I survive, myself.

Over-dramatic midnight writer
currently listening to: Miles Away by Memphis May Fire

1 comment:

  1. 90% or more of my social interaction so far this semester has been spending time with my boyfriend. It probably isn't ideal, but most of my friends have graduated and lately people have been leaving me unnerved and confused. Trust me, you aren't the only one. <3