Saturday, November 16, 2013

i am, i am, I am.

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I don't hear the silence very often anymore. The places I live are filled. And when something is empty, like the drive back home or sitting in a restaurant trying to write something, I instinctively put on my head phones and turn up the volume.

Why am I constantly trying to fill that void?
Am I afraid of what might happen if I embrace it--am I afraid of thought?

I used to listen to them. The breaths of the people in the room with me, the rustle of leaves outside my window, the horn of a train echoing from a distance. My heartbeat as I sprawled out on my bed and allowed my mind to roam into distant lands.

We used to call each other on the phone and talk for hours at a time, talking and listening back and forth like a game of ping-pong. We didn't just read the words someone wanted us to read, we felt them. We deciphered them. We could recognize someone just by their voice, like a fingerprint. We knew it by heart.

Things are changing now. We're afraid of silence and we're afraid to speak.
Mostly, we're afraid of thought.

--Emily
currently listening to: the hum of my computer