Saturday, April 25, 2015

A Definitive and Authoritative Ranking of Emilys

Because I'm 100% an expert and authoritative figure on the subject of what it takes to be an Emily, I have decided to rank the most well-known Emilys in the world. This ranking has been decided very carefully and systematically and is not in any way based on trivial matters or opinions. 

Also, did you know that "Emily" probably stems from the Roman word for "rival"?
Take that as you will.

And please enjoy this playlist as you read through the rest of the post.



8. Emily Deschanel
Although I'm sure that Emily Deschanel has a good percentage of Emily in her, I'm not familiar with her enough for her to rank higher on this list. She's mostly known for her character on Bones, which I have never watched. She's also the sister of Zooey Deschanel, who I think has a little bit of Emily in her, too, so it's safe to say that she deserves at least some ranking on this list.
Amount of Emily: 65%

7. Emily Osment
Emily Osment has been in a lot of teen movies and is probably most well-known for being the best friend in Hannah Montana...or for being the sister of child star Haley Joel Osment. Either way, you'd think she'd be overshadowed, but she really isn't. She stands out, people remember her. She's got some spunk to her. She can sing, too.
Amount of Emily: 67%


5. Emily Watson
Not to be confused with Emma Watson, who  I would love to claim as one my Emily kin but unfortunately she is one syllable off. Emily Watson, on the other hand, is a different British actress, and a relatively famous one--she's been nominated for two Academy Awards. You might recognize her from The Book Thief, in which she played Rosa Hubermann. 
Amount of Emily: 74%

Bonus: We share the same middle name!

5. Emily Browning
Emily Browning as Helen Knopff, the hot bisexual in 'The Third Lover'. Get a copy now: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GZPVUOE
I know she's been in other things, but the only movie I have seen her in is A Series of Unfortunate Events. But I don't care--I can tell her level of Emily just by looking at her. Look at that face, so broody and gorgeous and mysterious. I always feel like she's more of a person than a celebrity, someone I want to get to know. But at the same time, she seems deep and introverted, like there are a thousand layers to dig beneath. I think this is why you see her face literally on every aspiring writer's list of "this-is-what-my-main-character-looks-like."
Amount of Emily: 77%

4. Emily Brontë
A good heart will help you to a bonny face, my lad and a bad one will turn the bonniest into something worse than ugly. -Emily  Brontë
Of the Brontë sisters, Emily was the recluse of the family (definitely an Emily trait). She was shy, loved animals, and wrote a pretty famous novel, but maybe not as famous as her sister's. She died at age 30, a year after the publication of Wuthering Heights.  
Amount of Emily: 85%

Diary of a Boho Bride – Kirra and Tim, Entry 1: Our Humanist Ceremony


3. Emily Blunt

I haven't seen Emily Blunt in too many things--well, that's a lie, but all the movies I've seen her in I have only watched once and most of those were a long time ago. But I loved her in Edge of Tomorrow. She's fierce, while still being insanely beautiful. Plus, she's married to John Krasinski, which is just perfect. 
Amount of Emily: 88%


2. Emma Stone
But Emily--you're saying right now--how can Emma Stone be on the list but Emma Watson was excluded? Well, dear ones, it's because EMMA STONE'S REAL NAME IS EMILY. It's true! But, I must say, she doesn't share a lot of qualities with Emilys--she's pretty extroverted and always able to make the crowd laugh. But she's also really talented and just amazing, so I can overlook her non-Emilyness and put her near the top of this list. But she does get points deducted for shredding away her Emily identity and masking it as an Emma. Where is your Emily pride?
Amount of Emily: 92%


1. Emily Dickinson
Emily Dickinson is the epitome of all it is to be Emily. That is all, no defense necessary.
Amount of Emily: 100%



So what do you guys think--did I leave anyone out? Do all you Emilys out there agree or disagree? Do you know any 100% Emilys, or Emilys that are not much of Emily at all? And if you are an Emily, where do you think you would stand on the list?

--Emily

1 comment:

  1. Cute idea for a list! I can't think of any other Emilys at the moment, though. I think you got most of the well-known ones!

    ReplyDelete